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Two and a Half Men
: Season 3
Episode 01: "Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts"
After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, whose wants and needs interfere with Charlie's social life.
Episode 02: "Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover"
Charlie answers phones at Alan's chiropractic office while his brother is away, and turns the place into a brothel when he hires a masseuse.
Episode 03: "Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"
When Charlie learns that Alan has been dating Judith and is hoping to get back together, he does everything he can think of to keep them apart.
Episode 04: "Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs"
Alan lets Berta stay at Charlie's house for a few days, which causes a rift between the brothers and forces Alan to look for a new place to live.
Episode 05: "We Called It Mr. Pinky"
Charlie becomes impotent when armchair psychoanalyst Rose tells him he has unresolved issues with his mother.
Episode 06: "Hi, Mr. Horned One"
Charlie is thrilled that he's dating a hot, exciting woman, but Alan can't find much to like about her.
Episode 07: "Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop"
Martin Sheen guest stars as Rose's dad, who confronts Charlie and asks what his intentions are towards his daughter after an inebriated Charlie sleeps with Rose on her birthday.
Episode 08: "That Voodoo That I Do Do"
Charlie dupes Jake into joining a ballet class just so he can flirt with the teacher.
Episode 09: "Madame and Her Special Friend"
Guest star Cloris Leachman plays Charlie's wealthy neighbour, who wants Alan to be her toy-boy.
Episode 10: "Something Salted and Twisted"
Charlie helps Alan with his unhealthy need to always have to gain approval from women.
Episode 11: "Santa's Village of the Damned"
Alan starts dating a Martha Stewart-like perfectionist who takes command of the house during the holidays.
Episode 12: "That Special Tug"
Charlie goes to a psychiatrist to try and learn how to deal with Alan's emotional problems.
Episode 13: "Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Charlie uncharacteristically finds himself in a relationship that isn't based on sex.
Episode 14: "Love Isn't Blind, it's Retarded"
Charlie and Mia decide to become intimate, but after the long wait, he's worried that he won't live up to her expectations.
Episode 15: "My Tongue is Meat"
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars and burgers behind her back.
Episode 16: "Ergo, the Booty Call"
Alan does his best to avoid the awkwardness of having his 22-year-old girlfriend attend Jake's birthday party.
Episode 17: "The Unfortunate Little Schnauser"
Charlie is tricked by Alan into attending a jingle writers' awards dinner, a prize he's never won. Guest stars Jon Lovitz.
Episode 18: "The Spit-Covered Cobbler"
Alan starts to have financial problems when he pays his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her.
Episode 19: "Golly Moses, She's a Muffin"
Alan's girlfriend moves in with him, and the new situation creates tension in the house.
Episode 20: "Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro"
While Alan rushes to Kandi, who's living with Judith, to try and win his girlfriend back, Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother.
Episode 21: "And the Plot Moistens"
Alan falls for Jake's teacher, whose intelligence is a refreshing change from Kandi's flakiness.
Episode 22: "Just Once with Aunt Sophie"
When a girl invites Jake to his first boy-girl party, Charlie robs Alan of the chance to offer his son advice on women by beating him to the task.
Episode 23: "Arguments for the Quickie"
Mia's dance troupe is in town and she reserves four ballet tickets for the Harpers, but Charlie is suspicious of her motives for seeing him again.
Episode 24: "That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite"
As Charlie and Mia make wedding plans, Alan and Jake are concerned about where they will live, with Rose not taking the wedding news so well.
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